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—working on issues like social mobility and racialized income gaps. But a few years ago, unsettling statistics kept crossing his desk: data that pointed to boys and men struggling, in some cases much more than girls and women. Boys weren’t succeeding in school, men were flailing in the labor market. Male suicides were up, male deaths from Covid weirdly high. It’s right-wing catnip, women outpacing men—and Reeves, an avowed feminist and lefty in good standing, wasn’t eager to provoke.
It’s incredibly important not to make the mistake, which a lot of the reactionaries do, of thinking that the fall of men is the result of the rise of women—which has been arguably the greatest economic liberation in human history. What I would say, though, is the economic rise of women has changed the terms of trade between men and women, and it has put a question mark next to the role of men, which is not one that previous generations of men have really had to answer.
One of the big insights of the women’s movement was that women’s identity was too narrowly confined to that of wife and mother, and we needed to expand that. So women have expanded. And that gives you a little bit more psychological resilience, at least in principle, because it means that if you have a bad day at work, you can make up for it by being a better mom or a better friend or daughter or something.
When I was a stay-at-home dad, I felt like as much of a provider as I did in periods when I’ve been the main breadwinner. I was just providing something different. I switched the idea of provider away from purely money to providing support and time and energy and love. There’s something resonant about the idea of provider for many men—it makes you feel incredibly needed.Turning to the political side of this, there is a huge partisan gender gap.
Most people talking about this are proposing more reactionary solutions–women going back to the kitchen, that sort of thing. What are the risks in choosing this as your project?
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