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WATERBURY, CT—Admitting his career had come between him and what mattered most, local man Andrew Tesser confirmed Thursday that mounting work obligations had caused him to seriously neglect his relationship with alcohol.
“I thought I had it under control, but then I got promoted, and suddenly I was skipping every happy hour to stay late on Zoom calls with clients in other time zones,” said Tesser, who added that he knew he had a problem when he started coming home from work so exhausted that beers would sit unopened in his fridge for days, and he would find himself uttering empty promises to make up for it over the weekend. “It breaks my heart to realize how much I’m missing out on because I’m not showing up at the bar—it’s like I don’t even know the regulars anymore. The other day the bartender asked where I’d been and said, ‘The gin sodas miss you, man.’ I almost started crying. I’m worried that one day I’m going to look back and realize I wasted my best drinking years on an unfulfilling job.” Vowing to turn his life around, Tesser told reporters he has resolved to shut his laptop promptly at 5 p.m. each Friday so he can spend a two-day bender enjoying quality time with Twisted Tea.Man With No Plans Just Too Exhausted To Go Out
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