I’ve Unlocked the Secret to Making First Dates (Mostly) Bearable

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I’ve Unlocked the Secret to Making First Dates (Mostly) Bearable
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When Zoom announced a Byzantine policy change, I had no idea it would intersect with my person life.

I could have used FaceTime for this, if it weren’t for me being an Android user , and I suppose I also could have used one of thethat some of the dating apps offer, but they tend to be janky, and besides, does anyone who’s not a TikTok star own one of those stands that holds up your phone for you so you can position it in a way where you look good? Because I do not.

But this time, 30 minutes in, per the newly instituted limit, Zoom gave me a warning: “Your meeting will end in 10 min,” it said, unless of course I wanted to upgrade to Zoom Pro for $149 a year. It was excellent timing: I had by then decided that this date, while indisputably human, did not fall into the category of humans I wanted to spend an evening out on the town with. So I’d already been contemplating how to gracefully bow out of the conversation.

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