“A ‘charging station friend’ is a metaphor for a friend who will turn to you when they’re going through a difficulty and need your support, but you then won’t hear from them when things are going well in their life.
In the scene, Miranda learns she’s pregnant and struggles to decide whether she’ll keep it or not, which upsets Charlotte because she is trying for a baby herself. Charlotte decides she wants to walk home alone, but Miranda ignores her and walks behind her the entire way. It’s a silent but meaningful gesture – she has her back and she doesn’t even need to say it.Amber*, I was the Miranda. I was always behind her, ready to catch her when she fell. Until I realised she was never going to catch me.
For Maria, 29, it was realising many of her friends sought out her wild and free-spirited energy, but they weren’t there for her when she needed to be vulnerable, and that caused her to reassess her. “I started therapy two years ago because I’d become a charging station for so many people in my life,” she explains. “I spent so much energy and time being readily available: constant phone calls, always meeting up to always be there for them, but I was left feeling incredibly exhausted by the end.
Gone were the days when she would help me plan my birthday every year or when we would meet up ‘just because’. Now, it was only when issues arose in her romantic relationships or at work that she’d reach out – then, she would be glued to my hip, waiting on me to tell her which direction to take in her relationship, spending hours trying to deconstruct situations where she would leave feeling empowered. She always left feeling better than she came, and then off she would go.
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