Don't cross this boundary.
34 minutes agoMy sister and I were really close growing up. That friendship spilled into adulthood, and I was so excited when she got pregnant with her first child right after I had my second. I wanted to share the motherhood experience with her, and I thought our kids would be as close as siblings, since they were so close in age.First, myand I have very different ways of raising our kids. I was more of a hoverer, she was free range. I vaccinated, and she didn’t want to.
But my sister — someone I was hoping I could lean on for support — told me I should just let my kids do whatever they wanted to, and that’s why he was acting out. It led to a blow-out fight, and we didn’t talk for months. That’s when I should have spoken up and set a boundary with her, but I didn’t. To be clear, when her kids are struggling, I keep my opinions and advice to myself. I have total confidence that she and her husband can handle their kids. And unless they are in danger, or they are completely disrespectful to me or someone , I strongly feel it’s not my place to say anything to my nieces and nephews.
But unfortunately, my sister doesn’t feel the same. A few months ago, after a family get-together, she told me she didn’t like the way my kids were talking to me. I had to tell her I had things under control and she needed to worry about her own kids, not mine. I explained her comments weren’t helpful and asked her to please give me the same respect I give her and her husband: to keep her mouth closed when it comes to my kids.
I wish I could tell you that we neatly resolved the conflict, but we didn’t. It’s created tension that’s totally changed our relationship. I don't go to my sister for advice or to vent about my kids because I know she’s going to make me feel worse. And honestly, it sucks. I hate that I’m not comfortable talking to my sister about certain things, and I really hate how she feels the need to constantly poke at trivial things that don’t concern her., even if it’s with someone we love.
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