Dear Care and Feeding: It’s not fair that my parents and I raise the kid, but they only show up for the good stuff.
. It’s a book I remember reading to my son when I was his foster parent, before we were able to adopt him around age 3. In the book, there’s a lazy bird, Mayzie, who tricks an elephant named Horton into sitting on her egg in a nest while she runs off to take a Palm Beach vacation. Horton, who undergoes a series of struggles but faithfully cares for the egg for almost a year, is understandably peeved when Mayzie pops back up at hatchin’ time demanding her egg back.
But while I love the book’s celebration of the efforts and impact of adopted caregivers, I actually think it’s quite unfair to ol’ Mayzie. In real life, when parents are unable to care for their biological children, it’s not generally because they are lazy or feel like lolling in the sun.
You may also want to let your niece know that alcoholism is genetic and that she will want to proceed carefully with regard to her own use of substances. You can tell her that if she ever needs help in this area, there are many resources that provide it, including therapy and 12-step programs, and that you can help connect her to them if she ever comes to you.