This bride didn’t have bridesmaids—and it was the best wedding decision she made.
I chose to forgo the stress of wondering if they hated me for demanding too much. I proactively reduced the amount of shit talk related to my wedding and, in turn, eliminated what would have been a significant source of anxiety for years to come.
Now if you’re wondering what kind of horrible, judgmental friends I have, I’d ask you to stop and reflect on your own experiences participating in other people’s weddings. It doesn’t matter how much you love the bride. It could be your sister, your best friend from childhood, your kidney donor—no one has ever been a bridesmaid without feeling some degree of resentment. Is it fair? No. Reflective of some kind of ingrained misogyny? Probably. Are we all guilty of it? Absolutely.
Some brides recognize this inevitability and decide they might as well lean in. Others, like myself, lean as far back as possible. And that choice—the choice to free myself from wondering whether my closest friends resented me for demanding their participation in an event that had already induced unquantifiable angst—that may have been the greatest gift I gave myself on my wedding day.
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