Your instinct might be to conceal what you’re feeling in an effort to protect the kids, but it’s actually healthy for them to talk about real emotions.
If this is you, you’re probably worried about a lot of things: your mortgage or rent, grocery bills, and a job hunt, among other things. And the stress only compounds when we realize this impacts not just our own life but also each member of our family. The stakes are particularly high. How will your layoff impact them? You might suddenly be worried about paying for soccer registration—and perhaps the orthodontist bill, too.
The best thing to do is to decide ahead of time what your goal of the conversation is, what you are willing to share, and also what would be better left unsaid. For example, while you might have real concerns about making your mortgage payments, there is no reason to bring up the possibility of having to sell the house if that is not a present reality. Think about what would be beneficial to tell the family without causing them unnecessary stress.
When parents model honest emotions, kids have an opportunity to see mom and dad as human and to witness resiliency and healthy coping mechanisms. Youwhat you’re feeling, why, and how you are managing those feelings. So you might say, “Daddy feels really sad today. And it’s ok to feel sad. But I’m going to be alright and will do what it takes to get back to feeling happy.”
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