When you disagree with someone you care about, 'winning' the argument means finding a way to make it more constructive than destructive. Here's how, by bruce_y_lee
Winning an argument means finding some way to make the argument more constructive than destructive.The aim is to abruptly, drastically, positively change the course of the argument.When you see an argument potentially headed down a destructive path, it can help to throw in a"circuit breaker."When you have an argument with someone you actually care about in some way, if your goal is to win the argument, you will lose.
This doesn't mean turning off all the electricity in the house. Instead, it means abruptly, drastically changing the course of the argument by either throwing in a curve ball of niceness or levity or taking a brief break with a specified time limit. What changed the progression of that argument was a 10-minute break. During that break, I took out the trash, literally and figuratively.gave me the opportunity to wonder,"Why are we even having this argument when we should be on the same page?" and ponder how best to approach things in a less-charged manner when I returned. When I did return, the other person's tone had dramatically positively changed, which was positively great.
One type of circuit breaker is to simply say something like,"Look, I just want to understand what you are saying. So let's focus on that. Tell me what you want me to do and say." This can be tough when the other person has said something hurtful. But assume that the other person didn't really mean to say such a thing and could have been speaking out of heightened emotion. When you focus on listening, you dramatically raise the chances that the other person will feel heard.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Wild video shows Charlotte bus driver, passenger shooting at each other after argumentA North Carolina bus driver and passenger suffered gunshot wounds during a shootout on the bus that ensued after the passenger requested a 'not-assigned bus stop.'
Read more »
Cache County woman arrested, accused of firing shots at man after argumentA Cache County woman was arrested for investigation of attempted murder after police say she fired a gun at a man after a domestic dispute.
Read more »
Argument over woman leads to shooting in WaukeganA suburban man was arrested after allegedly shooting at the ex-boyfriend of a woman he was with Monday morning in Waukegan.
Read more »
Argument at Mobile bar leads to stabbing, police sayOne person suffered a non-life-threatening injury early Saturday morning following a stabbing, according to the Mobile Police Department.
Read more »
Video shows shootout between Charlotte bus driver, passengerThe passenger and bus driver opened fire at one another during an argument.
Read more »
The System Shock remake is a delightful surpriseAn intricate and sometimes painful labor of love.
Read more »