How do I tell my partner I don’t feel like having sex?

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How do I tell my partner I don’t feel like having sex?
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Some tend to avoid direct communication about sex. Instead, we lie and say we have a headache or feel bloated. There are many ways we can communicate our lack of desire to have sex, some more productive than others. Here’s how to have that conversation:

Everyone is trying to spare each other's feelings, and we end up being confused, frustrated or hurt.

So, let’s be clear – our desire to have sex with our significant other does not have to correlate to how much we love them. More often than not, our lack of sexual interest is a byproduct of our fatigue, stress levels, overall health or busy schedule. Sex is a tricky topic for most couples to navigate. For many, the subject is filled with vulnerability or insecurity, and any comment perceived as rejection can be perceived as hurtful.Some of us tend to avoid direct communication about sex.

Instead, we lie and say we have a headache or feel bloated. Some may rush to bed quickly and pretend to be asleep when their partner comes. Some may watch another episode of Netflix to ensure their partner will be too tired come bedtime. And others have tried to change the topic –"oh, speaking of sexy time, have you seen the new photo such and such posted! It's hilarious" – hoping the person will get the hint.

There are many ways we can communicate our lack of desire to have sex, and some forms of communication are more productive than others. The best way to express our lack of desire would be to say,"no" or "honey, I don't feel like having sex right now" or"I am not in the mood." But, if such statements make you uncomfortable, you should still aim to be as clear as you can be with your partner.

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