Look, we’re not perverts. This is a real thing that members of Gen Z are doing. The Onion asked people in their late teens and 20s why they are “resetting” their virginity, and this is what they said.
Dustin Taylor, 18 “They said I had to at the conversion camp.” Aiden Kelly, 24 “To make the sex stop glitching.” Jada Tillery, 26 “I’m just generally into delusions.” Jose Galazara, 26 “I didn’t mean to. I accidentally stuck my finger too deep into my belly button, and it just happened.” Alyssa Bodner, 17 “Get out of my room!! I hate you!!!” Brayden O’Neill, 26 “I finally got hot, so I don’t want those past 4’s and 5’s bringing the average down.
” Sarah Kim, 21 “Why, howsoever else shall I become a vestal virgin in the highest temples to the gods of ancient Rome?” Levi Ballard, 14 “Some guy on Roblox said he’d send me $2,000 if I did.” Tanner Hunt, 19 “I black out every time I see my own penis.” Dylan Friedman, 16 “Who told you I’m a virgin? It’s a lie! They’re lying!” Isabella Cross, 21 “That’s what the global cabal taught me to do.” Cameron Whitley, 25 “It was the only way the government would agree to forgive my student loans.
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