'As a disabled person, a lot of my problem with setting boundaries has to do with my internalised ableism. It’s a voice that says I am inferior or that my needs as a disabled woman aren’t as important or worth respecting.' | ✍️ SamanthaRenke
As I was laying in bed for the fourth consecutive day – with crumpled tissues strewn across the floor and a makeshift pharmacy on my bedside table – I looked at my two sphynx cats who had sensed their mother wasn’t too well and sat with me in solidarity.It was a common cold, but – as someone who has underlying health conditions and a reduced breathing capacity – a common cold can quickly escalate because I have a notably weakened immune system.
The thing is: When you set personal boundaries, you are essentially saying that this is what I’m OK with and this is what I’m not. Good boundaries are important to ensure we protect our physical and mental wellbeing, personal space, safety and security.I often joke that I have Napoleon syndrome. I’m a strong feisty character in a little body and therefore I tend to overcompensate for my petite stature with a fireball tenacity and a can-do attitude – even when I’m sick.
I was clearly tired of being that person who worked around others, my commitments and friendships – instead of the person who spoke up and set personal boundaries. Taking time off can not only hit us in our pockets, but it can also mean we experience rather harmful ableist comments from colleagues or the media to perpetuate the narrative that disabled people are lazy or hard to work with. Attitudes that reinforce the view that disabled people are always sick, incapable or a burden.
In all honesty, I’ve allowed my boundaries to be exploited because I’ve been so scared that I’d be left behind or that I’d miss out on quintessentially human experiences I often feel are out of reach in a disabling world.
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