Better ways to manage conflict at work
Share to linkedinConflict. It’s an unavoidable part of any relationship. But do you ever feel like drama follows you everywhere you go? It can be frustrating — and tiring! — to be trapped in unnecessary, overblown struggles on a regular basis.
No, you’re not cursed. Nor does it mean you’re weak or doomed to have dysfunctional relationships forever. You’re caught in the Drama Triangle. The Drama Triangle is a concept that defines the three roles people typically take on in high-conflict situations:– When problems arise, the victim looks helplessly inward. They spin small anxieties into outsized disasters . Hello Drama Queen!– They are classic enablers who swoop in to save the day. They can be relied upon to always a put out a fire or show up last minute. Well-meaning to a fault, this “fixer” behavior can lead them to resentment and burnout. Reluctant Confronters by nature, rescuers don’t speak up even when wronged. – We all know the persecutor. The go-to strategies of the persecutor are controlling, blaming, and criticizing. In arguments, they will put you down and try to shame you into forgiveness. Their refrain? “It’s all your fault.”Drama Triangles are possible in any relationship, but they are more common in close relationships including those with romantic partners, family, and co-workers. Whether you’re fighting with your SO over who should take the garbage out or frustrated that you have to fix your annoying co-worker’s mistake —Even though conflict is inevitable, getting stuck in the triangle doesn’t have to be. If you want healthier, happier relationships, then it’s critical to learn how to communicate andIn order to change a pattern, you first have to identify it. You escape the Drama Triangle by first gaining awareness of the dysfunctional dynamics at play, then changing what’s in your control: your own behavior. Successful relationships require us to take 100 percent responsibility for our 50 percent of the interaction, so own up to how you might be contributing to keeping the Drama Triangle in place.Do you sometimes tend to whine and act helpless ? Do you find yourself blaming other people ? Are you always the reliable, dependable one that enables a problem behavior to continue? Your role may shift in any given relationship, but try to be aware and take note of your particular patterns. Victims – Stop outsourcing your self-esteem by seeking validation from other people. Instead, strengthen your decision-making skills and try acting before you feel ready. Rescuers – Pay attention to what drains your energy . To curb people-pleasing, develop firm boundaries. Say “no” more than you say “yes”. Prosecutors – Replace accusatory, sweeping statements like “you always forget to call!” with “I” statements. For example, “When I didn’t hear from you, I felt worried”. Better yet, replace the Drama Triangle with compassion, listening, and assertiveness — what’s been called Winner’s Triangle.
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