Answer the most pressing question at hand
J.R.R. Tolkien and Edith Bratt Photo: Twentieth Century Fox Warning: This post contains very specific spoilers about whether or not J.R.R. Tolkien has sex in the new movie Tolkien. No, I don’t know why I’m like this either.
Ever since middle school, I’ve harbored an obsession with the universe created by J.R.R. Tolkien in books like The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion. They’re filled with heart and wonder, transformative journeys and gripping battle scenes, and deeply moving stories of both friendship and romantic love . One thing these books definitely don’t have, though? Sex.
It’s not necessarily even noticeable unless you’re to compare it with, say, the glut of nudity and casual fingering that frequently appears in series like A Song of Ice and Fire. Nor did it stop me from having my own personal sexual awakening because of Aragorn who, I would like to go on the record as saying, can still get it.
You can’t exactly blame me. Tolkien — following in the footsteps of recent works that feature a Hot Pope and Hot David Koresh — cast Nicholas Hoult as, well, Hot Tolkien. Lily Collins, who is also hot, stars as Edith Bratt, his future wife. Adding to the intrigue was the news, reported by The Guardian, that the Tolkien estate did not “approve of, authorise or participate in the making of” the film.
Anyway, to answer the most pressing question at hand: no! There is no Tolkien sex scene. There are exactly two Passionate Kisses in the whole movie. The film mostly focuses on his sad beginnings as an orphan, the refuge he found in his tight-knit group of school friends, his brilliance at academics in general and languages in particular, and his love story with Edith — all of which are interspersed with harrowing scenes of his formative time fighting in World War I.
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