The pressure to have sex on Valentine's Day can foster stress in a relationship. Here's how to avoid the trap while still connecting with your partner.
Research shows that although sex matters in relationships, more isn't always better.pressure, and at the top of that list is Valentine’s Day. But sex should never feel like work or an obligation—and that includes holidays centered on love.that although regular sex contributes to relationship satisfaction and well-being, more isn’t always better.
Couples who have sex more than once a week aren’t any happier or more satisfied than couples who have sex once a week. And sometimes, they’re less.In a culture that values bigger, better, and more, it’s easy to understand why many people might mistakenly assume that the more you have sex, the happier you’ll be.. However, when couples are motivated by external reasons—which happens when Hallmark holidays and a more equals better mindset dictate your sex life—the effect can backfire.
It's important to recognize that sexual desire is often responsive rather than spontaneous, meaning that for many, feeling subjectively “turned on” happens only after sex is underway and your body is responding. Planning can be a great way to create the erotic space needed for responsive desire to bloom, within the right atmosphere.occur. Sex and desire don’t need to be spontaneous to be wonderful. But they do need to be autonomously driven.
Planning time with your partner where you both can connect, and relishing the anticipation of that special time, can enhance your sexual and romantic life. But when we define intimacy and connection in our relationships as simply equivalent to sex, we lose out on the types of experiences that make us feel closer and more whole.All of this is to say that if you happen to find your Valentine’s Day leading to sex, then absolutely enjoy it. But don’t create unnecessary.
Be the curator of your own romantic and sexual life. Take steps to cultivate the atmosphere that is most likely to invite pleasure and connection into your life. But don’t let Valentine’s Day provide your blueprint. Great sex begins withMuise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. A. . Sexual Frequency Predicts Greater Well-Being, But More is Not Always Better.is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle.
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