Advice from Annie Lane.
My husband and I have been together for 15 years. He has three children from a previous marriage. In the early days of our relationship, my nieces would often come and visit during the summers, and all the kids would play together. As everyone grew older, the visits lessened to just holidays.
Fast forward to now, when one of my nieces is getting married. She invited my husband and me, and our two younger boys, but not the other three. I asked her if it was an oversight or if they were assumed in the family invitation. She told me that the four of them hadn’t really spoken in years, with my husband’s daughter ghosting her when she’s reached out during her most recent visits. She also mentioned that because his daughter treats me poorly , she doesn’t want that behavior at her wedding.
I mentioned this to my husband so that we could talk about the event privately, without upsetting anybody. He became very upset and thinks we should invite them anyway. He said they probably won’t come. He also said his daughter has mental health issues and we just need to accept her behavior and look past it. I told him that my niece can choose who she wants to invite, and if there isn’t a relationship and her concerns of possible drama are valid, then she shouldn’t feel obligated to.
At first, I didn’t mind, but it’s gotten out of control. She now wants me to come over and collect her dirty dishes, put them in my dishwasher and then return them to her. I feel guilty because she is elderly, but this has gotten completely out of control. How do I tell her no without being a “bad” neighbor? Please help!The reason she is taking advantage of your kindness is because you are kind.
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