Advice from Annie Lane.
I have complex feelings about my family, which may come across as harsh, but I feel it’s important to explain. They exhibit behaviors that I find troubling, such as a tendency to rely on the more successful members of the family for support without taking accountability for their own circumstances. In their view, refusing to help is seen as a deep disrespect.
The expectation that “family takes care of family” can sometimes be taken too far. For example, my brother has asked me to cover the cost of his engagement ring, and my grandmother has insisted that I purchase alcohol for her when she cannot afford it. While I believe in supporting those who face genuine hardship, it is disheartening to see my family ridicule those of us who choose not to enable a cycle of dependency, especially when we are unable to assist.
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