Advice from Annie Lane.
I wanted to write in with a mindset shift that I have had over the past couple of years. What helps me get over childhood trauma is the realization that I am who I am because of the things I’ve experienced -- both the good things and the awful things that stem from my childhood and how I’ve lived as a result. Our parents were humans and went through their own trauma as well. I forgive them and realize they were doing the best they could. Life is a journey, and we’re all still on it.
I was devastated. My fiance apologized profusely, but I can’t seem to get over this, both the betrayal of their intimate conversations about me and his obvious attraction to her. He also made the mistake, in my opinion, of diminishing her intent in telling me all of this. He thought it was just her “oversharing” and lack of boundaries. I feel it was evil.
It’s great that your fiance is willing to distance himself from his friend for your sake. However, it’s vital he understands why it’s necessary. Communication here is key -- not just airing grievances, but actively working together to establish clear boundaries that protect and strengthen your relationship.
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