A reader seeks advice on helping her daughter become independent.
My daughter is 23 years old. She moved back in with me following a bad, toxic relationship. I told her I would help her. The problem is she doesn’t have a driver’s license or a job to stand on her own two feet and be independent.
She believes going out with some friends she met online is a good start in getting her sadness and depression to go away. I told her she needs to have priorities and real goals because I’m not going to continue helping her financially. She is not looking for a job, doesn’t want to study for the driving test or even get an education. I don’t know what else to do. The tools for her are there, but she doesn’t want them.She is lucky to have a parent who is as supportive and willing to help her as you are when she is so in need of that help and direction. But that doesn’t mean she gets to coast through life on your generosity.
The solution is simple. Either she starts taking steps in the right direction to iron out her life -- getting a job or enrolling in school, becoming a licensed driver -- in your home, or she finds a home of her own.“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book.
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