Dear Abby: It’s incredibly unfair to expect someone to wait alone, potentially for years, for their spouse with dementia to pass before they seek out companionship.
“Shattered in New York” was struggling with the fact that her wife, “Sandy,” was supporting a friend entering into a new relationship soon after her wife was admitted into a dementia care facility. The reality is, the person you love no longer exists. Yes, physically they are there, but the person they once were is not, and it’s devastating.
My dad has dementia, and while my mom makes sure he’s safe, happy and visits him every day, she is certainly no longer in a marriage with an actual partner. She is alone, and we all support her finding companionship while Dad is alive. It’s incredibly unfair to expect someone in that situation to wait alone, potentially for years, for their spouse to pass. You doubted that Sandy would want Shattered to move on if Sandy were in that situation. I feel confident that she is understanding enough that she would.I would hope so, but if my mail is any indication, there are no guarantees. This is a complicated situation, and the solution has to be something appropriate for everyone involved.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication. If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our
Abigail-Van-Buren @Rhiggs @Exmeter
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