I am so angry I cannot breathe. What makes someone fall off the wagon after 20 years of being sober?
DEAR BREAKING HEART: You have my sympathy. Recovery is not a destination. It is something that must be practiced every day, which is why substance abusers attend 12-step programs. It’s not uncommon for them to have occasional lapses, which appears to be what has happened with your fiancé. He’s sneaking because he knows you would react as you have.
Have you been to a meeting of a support group for friends and family of addicts in recovery? If not, go now! Whether you should break the engagement and move on is something only you can decide, but if you attend some of those meetings, you will gain insight into your future. P.S. I know I will hear from readers telling me marijuana isn’t the “hard stuff” and is even legal in some states. However, the issue I can’t avoid is that he deceived you about what he has been doing, which should tell you he knows it’s wrong.DEAR ABBY: I was a good mom, staying at home for 17 years. I love my two girls . Both are very heavy. I always struggled with weight, too, but I lost 50 pounds in the last year.
DEAR GUILTY: Your daughters are sensitive about their weight. Recognize that the topic is off the table. They are both adults, so resist the urge to “correct” them. You can lead by example, and taking off those extra pounds was a good start. Accept that you cannot live your daughters’ lives for them. Concentrate on your own and you will all be happier.Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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