I have asked her to respect my choice and to stop criticizing.
After my mother died several years ago, my father’s sometimes violent behavior flared up. A few years ago, I decided to stop spending time with him. My sister, who has received -- and may continue to receive -- significant financial support from Dad, is scolding me for it.
My dilemma is whether I should continue trying to get through to her. I’d like to see her children, but I’m unsure whether she will respect my boundaries if I see her in person. Her continued haranguing is stressful. I’m tired of being labeled a punishing, overly sensitive shrew for attempting to set boundaries with my father. However, I’m loath to cut off all contact with her, given that I’m not seeing my dad. Is there a middle ground? Or am I wasting my time by trying to get through to someone who doesn’t want to hear me?Tell your sister you love her and would very much enjoy seeing her and her children WITH ONE PROVISO: You do not wish to discuss your fractured relationship with your father.
Incidentally, Mama and her husband do not send me Mother’s Day cards. I do not want her husband to think I consider him my father. I would feel disloyal to my father if I were to do what she’s demanding. Is my mother’s expectation reasonable? Should I send cards just because she wants me to?Send your mother and her new husband an anniversary card, as you would ANY friend or relative you wish to congratulate.
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