Dear Abby advises a confused mother disturbed by her boyfriend’s hobby and someone tired of their alcoholic mother.
I have been with my live-in boyfriend, “Kyle,” for four years. He has many great qualities, the most important of them being he fully accepts my daughter as his own. He doesn’t see her as his “girlfriend’s kid” or even a “stepchild.” She has no contact with her biological father or any of his family and has blossomed as a person since Kyle has been in the picture.
When I left her biological father, she had some major behavioral and emotional issues. I can’t bear the thought of putting her through that again. She would not only lose her father figure but also his extended family that has fully embraced her. Do I tough it out until she’s 18, or do I leave now? —I wish you had mentioned how old your daughter is. If she’s in her mid-to-late-teens, she is old enough to understand that you cannot let the romance continue as it is.
She’s now in her 70s and retired. I’m not sure there’s anything we can do. I’m having a hard time talking with her when she’s drunk, and we are drifting apart because of it. Do you have any advice? —It isn’t surprising that you and your mother are drifting apart. Dealing with an addict who is in denial is impossible. As much as you would like to, you can’t “fix” your mother or her drinking buddy.
It is important for your own well-being that you do not shoulder responsibility for what is happening with your mother. Once you meet other adults who are coping with the same problems you are, you will understand that.
Addiction Alcoholism Dating Advice Dear Abby
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