People in toxic relationships are often conditioned to excuse unhealthy behavior. Here's how it works—and what they can do to stop, by Kaytee_Gillis
the bad times with phrases like: “They’ll stop,” “It won’t get that bad,” “She's just mad,” and “Nobody could be this cruel.”They diminish their emotional reaction to abuse or violence. This is often seen in people who grew up in homes withThey invent ways to deny the reality of their abuse.Accepting:
They accept their position as an inevitable lot in life, due to pressures from society, culture, faith, or other sources. They explain the abuse as “my role,” and may say things like, “We all have our burden to bear.”They try to reason or bargain with their abuser to convince them to stop instead of leaving. “Maybe if I try to do better about making sure the house is clean, they won’t be soThey convince themselves they are the cause of their own abuse.
If you find yourself using any of these methods or others to excuse abusive behavior, you can take steps to stop these thoughts. Here are some tips:, faith, history, or role in society, no one deserves to be mistreated.” The answer is likely something comforting, supportive, and non-blaming. Try telling yourself what you would say to a friend to support them through the same experience.If you feel yourself habitually making excuses, get one step ahead of it.
If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call 800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org.
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