Guest commentary: There are very few words to describe the NICU experience. It’s a paradox of emotions, each encompassing every fiber of your being... Not to mention the all-consuming guilt when your baby isn’t by your side. 📝 cassiejasso
, with the creation of a separate paid leave that provides parents with the ability to focus on their newborn’s development and use their regular parental leave when their baby gets home. This was critical for our family and I know it would help others.
Throughout Hudson’s time in the NICU, my husband continued to work to maximize his leave, often trading billing hours for visiting his son. While doctors could give us a general timeline, only Hudson could tell us when he was ready to come home. We weren’t sure if he would be on the quicker side for his gestational age or if we’d be in for an eight-week stay.
Even with California’s eight weeks of paid family leave, NICU dads and partners are left with a difficult choice: spend their leave at their infant’s bedside or wait until their baby hopefully makes it home. Since the birthing parent is on disability, there isn’t a question of whether or not they will return to work upon their baby’s admittance. However, putting the added weight of daily hospital visits on the recovering mother isn’t fair. And it gets even more complicated for long-term stays.
When Hudson came home, I had two weeks of disability left followed by paid family leave. Even though he was 1 month old and looked like a normal baby, he was still supposed to be developing in utero. We had to start from scratch: sleepless nights, feeding around the clock, counting wet and dirty diapers, and managing reflux.
With four weeks of precious bonding time lost to the NICU, I had already planned on taking an extended leave and it ended up being necessary to help Hudson flourish. But we took a financial hit to our family’s income by making this decision.Parents shouldn’t have to decide between conference calls and caring for their warrior infants.
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