Dear Eric: One of my closest friends has a toddler and when we’re making plans, she will often ask if she should leave her toddler at home with her husband. Oftentimes when I say yes, I would…
Dear Eric: One of my closest friends has a toddler and when we’re making plans, she will often ask if she should leave her toddler at home with her husband. Oftentimes when I say yes, I would enjoy just catching up with her, she lets me know that leaving her toddler is not really a viable option.
Toddlers aren’t forever, so for now try an approach that’s honest and empathetic. Tell your friend that you obviously love the friendship you built in the pre-kid days, but that you also want to keep your closeness now and get to know the person she’s becoming and the person she’s raising. If she’s desperate for a child-free hang and her life allows it, she’ll let you know.
In our final year of school, many people found out where they would be heading for their first job on the same day. This person had never before called or texted me, but somehow got my cellphone number, called me, and proceeded to tell me how fabulous their job was. This person then asked if I had been hired. I said yes. They asked who had hired me. I told them. The person then hung up on me – presumably because my job was marginally “fancier” than theirs? I don’t know.
I find this incredibly weird and presumptuous. I told her I might have a conflict, as I am trying to plan a trip with friends around that time .Dear Un-Linked: The presumptuousness of your friend takes my breath away. I can only assume that she has a very different idea of what your relationship is than you do. But that’s not your problem, especially considering you haven’t talked in 10 years. You don’t owe her excuses and you certainly don’t owe her a dinner date three hours away.
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