Dear Amy: Every year, I spend time carefully curating a list of Christmas wishes for me, my husband, and our children. I know what we like and need.
Abandon the list. It’s not working. It also subverts the idea of Christmas giving.
You might segue to a non-material gift for adults — donating to a charity on their behalf or giving a subscription or membership to a local museum or cultural institution. If you don’t want to give any gifts to adults, in place of your list you can state: “I’m trying to cut way back on the overabundance, and so I’m going to only give gifts to the kids. Enjoying our time together is the only gift I want.”Dear Amy:I think a lot of our estrangement is based on jealousy.
I am afraid that if my brother reads those things in a letter, he will think I am rubbing salt into a wound.Should I send him a letter?If you are estranged from your brother, then why do you send him this one thing each year? Do you want to try to create something of a dialogue with him?If you simply want to remind him that you exist, and that you are enjoying your life and privileges, then you might as well send this letter.
You might include a handwritten note to your brother at the bottom of this Christmas letter, reminding him of a happy memory that you two share, and wishing him well in the coming year.“Bothered” lived next door to an unsafe daycare provider, whose children wandered into neighbors’ front yards and into the street.
Although Bothered was obviously more worried about the kids bothering her dogs than about the children themselves, I appreciated your sense of alarm about this extremely unsafe situation.“Bothered’s” dogs were more closely supervised than these children.
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