She makes her way home alone after nights out with friends, and her spouse worries that isn't safe.
But here’s the thing: We don’t live near any of her friends, so she always walks home or grabs a cab alone, and I hate it. I’m afraid for her safety, and I can’t relax, while she thinks it’s fine and I’m fussing. We don’t live in a dangerous neighborhood, but there have been a few incidents in the past.
Any ideas? I’d pay for a self-defense class, but I’m afraid that might seem too self-serving and controlling … and it might not assuage my fears.You do not get to change or challenge someone else’s perfectly normal adult behavior just because you feel anxious about it.By “perfectly normal,” I mean what single people do all the darn time.
Whether you go the self-help route, book time with a therapist or acknowledge a larger struggle and start an evaluation process with your physician, there are effective options for calming an anxious mind through chaotic thoughts. Please think bigger about this, too, than just your wife’s monthly outings. There are always “a few incidents” —
in the safe neighborhood, “on the town,” in the utterly unremarkable daylight sober car ride for a gallon of milk. Life and risk are inseparable, so love and risk must be as well.It will never not be awful if something bad happens, and there’s no preventing that — but it is possible to stop pre-living the awfulness on a loop in your mind before it happens, so you have better choices than white-knuckling at home or putting your wife on a leash. Train your mind on what you have, vs.
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