Advice: Carolyn Hax readers advise a reader whose brother and his wife prepared dinner for the family and served them a bill at the end. “After dinner, a note was passed around to let everyone, including children, know their personal monetary share.”
My mother has been telling my younger brother that he and his wife, who got married in 2021, need to start taking a turn at cooking dinner at least four times a year. We told them it doesn’t have to be fancy; it’s about the family being together, not the food. They took their turn last week. After dinner a note was passed around to let everyone, including children, know their personal monetary share.
Stop with the scorekeeping, keep piling plates high with delicious food and focus on what you love about your brother and sister-in-law. Setting reasonable expectations for loved ones and accepting their quirks will keep the peace, make life a little easier and minimize resentment.You don’t have a sister-in-law problem; you have a brother and angry dad problem.
No dinner is worth walking on eggshells. Sister-in-law here is putting her foot down and supporting her husband — granted her tactic was in the poorest taste. Now that the cat is out of the bag and your brother has made his feelings clear, let’s just hope his wife can crawl out from under that bus in one piece.There are so many angles to this situation: a clueless brother, a sister-in-law with emotional money problems and an explosive father.
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