A Personal Perspective: Stress is often to blame for couples' relationship issues.
Many people are under a greater amount stress than ever before, and it's impacting their relationships.practice, I purchased a small, beat-up, two-seater couch from IKEA’s as-is section. It was $50 and all I could afford. A friend helped me carry it up to the fifteenth floor of a city building, shove it into my tiny office, and cover it with a brown slipcover. Since then hundreds of couples have sat on that couch as they yell, cry, laugh, and share with each other.
I was doing everything I had been taught to do in school and yet I was missing one key component—recognizing the role stress plays in how couples can navigate everything from One night, after a particularly bad argument, I spent time researching exactly why I was so unhappy. I came upon an answer—something called mental load disparity. The mental load is defined as the cognitive effort involved in managing life responsibilities and decision-making. This might include planning a trip, researching which dentist your family should go to, remembering birthdays, and delegating chores, a type of labor that often falls mostly to women.
For the first year following that argument, I attributed all of our unhappiness to the way the mental load was being distributed in our family. I went on an obsessive journey to better understand how it wasn’t only impacting me, but also my relationships. But then, things with the mental load improved. My husband got better at noticing the toilet paper was low and became the only person in charge of doctor’s appointments.
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