1). Love Island.
1. Remembering how much you paid for the oversized Vetements hoodie, way back in 2017, when it peers accusingly at you, crumpled, unfashionable, all a bit silly, really, from the dusty recesses of your wardrobe.
3. London nightclub venues that have been there forever –– waning in popularity and relevance as the years go by –– suddenly pretending to beby making you place a little sticker over your phone camera upon your arrival. Nice try, but pics of a DJ playing David Guetta remixes to a half-empty dancefloor ain't gonna cut it on The Gram anyway.
5. Greedy-grabby London nightclubs dispensing with cloakrooms in which to stash your coat/bag, and instead charging you £15 for the temporary use of your very own gym-style locker. WTF?' and 'just want to get it over and done with'.... sorry if monumental decisions about the future prospects of the UK haven't been enough of a giggle for you, babes.
10. People who insist on drinking only decaf coffee or herbal tea because caffeine is, like, so, so bad for you and really addictive, you know... yet still merrily smoke 20 Marly Lights per day in between sipping their futile brews.
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