Mrs X and her husband were holidaying on Inhaca Island in Mozambique and couldn’t find the rod. The chalet also didn’t have oven gloves or a tea pot or a mixing bowl – and the fridge was held closed with an elastic strap. Imagine! So they complained to a travel magazine about it.Well, who can blame them? Life without a toilet-roll holder can be pretty awkward.
They showed us the spring – right near the beach – which bubbled up under a cool bush . They also sold us incredibly cheap dried sardines and an indescribably delicious coconut brittle they made. A little market in their village under a shaky thatched roof provided a few other offerings, some of which seemed dicey and possibly illegal, but nothing which killed. There were no oven gloves or toilet-roll holders, but there were cashew nuts in abundance.
After about a month, we had, in an innocent sort of way, gone completely local. Mornings were spent snorkelling over the technicolour reefs, midday we’d swap stories with the villagers or just sit under a tree and watch time pass, and by mid afternoon, we’d begin hunter-gathering for supper.
After a month on a wild beach, the room looked like something out of a Hollywood movie set: A bed! A bath! Toilet paper! And even a bidet! There were, I’m sure, also tea pots, a fridge with or without an elastic strap, a toilet-roll holder and possibly even oven gloves.Somehow, the bidet attracted my partner’s attention. She switched it on and the stream hit the roof. So she decided to sit on it first, then open the taps; it seemed logical.
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