Flirting comes in many forms: a casual gaze that lingers a half second longer than necessary, a light touch, an amorous expression, an over enthusiastic laugh during conversation, or even some playful or overtly sexual banter.
It isn’t surprising that a person’s self-esteem may affect how she or he approaches flirting. When the risk of being rejected is high, men with high self-esteem use more direct techniques than those with low self-esteem, perhaps because they’re less concerned with how being shot down may affect them.
When it comes to flirting technique the research is pretty clear: while subtlety is more likely to protect the flirter’s self-esteem, if you really want to get your message across, direct is best. A study asked college students about the most effective ways to show interest in someone.
Overall, almost a quarter of the participants flirted during their interaction. But participants accurately perceived that flirting only 28% of the time, with males more accurate at detecting female flirting than females were at detecting male flirting . Those numbers are all fairly low, but people were much better at knowing when their partner was not flirting, accurately characterizing lack of flirting 84% of the time.
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