Women Think I’m the Typical “Nice Guy.” They Have No Idea.

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Dear How to Do It: I enjoy things beyond what the layperson might casually try.

, due to routine self-inspection for signs of diseases that spread through sexual contact, like syphilis.

Do you have these same qualms about sexual interaction with a healthcare worker? Without your tone of voice or more context, I’m left with the—potentially uncharitable—possibility that you might be thinking that sex workers of any gender are. If that’s how you think, please, don’t subject a sex worker—a human doing their job—to your stigmatic beliefs. If a sex worker gets monkeypox, they are—much like your partner would be—out of work for several weeks.

I think you should deal with this disconnect between what he says about not caring about his orgasm, and what he says about not having orgasmed, first. Spend some time reminiscing about times he’s said he doesn’t care, and times he’s acted like he does care. Make note of what you’re curious about and come up with some questions. I might ask a partner if they’ve noticed that they bring up the fact that they didn’t orgasm after every sexual interaction, and go from there based on their response.

If you’re comfortable with him ejaculating in your mouth, he can get himself close to orgasm with his hand and then you can lick the head of his penis until he comes. And you can work on your handjob stamina by doing exercises that strengthen your biceps, forearms, and hands, like push-ups or lifting a two-pound barbell with your wrist. Good luck.

 

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