; they may have alluded to chin hairs and bunions. But nobody, NOBODY, gave us the heads up about the funk that was going to happen to our hair.—after all, we have eyes. Over time, our wavy beach hair may have been downgraded to limp seaweed, and that’s not pleasant. But our hair looking like we gave our crotch a perm and slapped it on our head? Nope—didn’t expect that.
And, if that’s not enough, how about our hair breaking off? Gone are the days of the beehive and the Rachel—any back-hoe-ing of our tresses would end in a sink full of hair hay or something resembling crimped twisty ties. I would’ve appreciated a heads up there. At least so I could buy a tiny dustpan.
We diagnose our dull hair as needing a mayonnaise vinegar treatment with a Bud Light rinse. We want to blame cheap shampoo for our matte wax build up. The fact is, however, our hair can take it upon itself to simply sprout out of our heads sad and lackluster. Had someone told us this, Pert could have been off the hook.
Once upon a time, we might have had hair that was too thick for a single braid; now-upon-a-time, we might have the kind of hair that’s just right for a single-strand twist. Nobody ever told us we’d look back at our snarls with nostalgia. Now, I miss my rat’s nest.will experience hair loss, especially at the crown of our heads.
I remember seeing women in church with white scalps peeking through sparse strands. I put them in the it’s-your-own-damn-fault category and imagined Aqua-Net and bonnet-hood heat dryers were the culprit. Not so. Had I seen their aunts or grandmas, I would not have been so quick to assume. My fault for jumping to conclusions? Nope. Somebody else’s for not telling me that sometimes heredity is a bitch.
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