Daniel Goleman coined the phrase “amygdala hijacking,” referring to the ability of primitive parts of the brain to preempt the cortex, or thinking brain. When powerful emotions take over, there is no thinking going on. Trying to hold it all in or stuffing the feelings back down does not work.We learned a powerful life lesson from an adult with attention deficit disorder named Ursula, who was off the charts when it came to disinhibition.
Some people with ADHD, like Ursula, don’t have a problem with emotional expression. They can’t inhibit themselves, so their anger blasts out, or they are reduced to tears without regard for the situation. They can’t manage their feelings in a way that doesn’t create more problems than it solves. It is not a good idea, for example, to routinely blast your boss.The remedy for stuffers and blasters is to set aside time to express emotions regularly.
— find someone else to blame, whether or not this other person is really the villain. The purpose here is to vent your emotions.Remind yourself that it’s OK to be angry, it’s OK to be afraid.We all have an inner judge who delights in criticizing. Talk back to the judge, or make it a target of your rant.but your job right now is not to be mature. It is to allow the unhealed part of yourself to have its say.
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