, Ripley counseled a listener who is stuck in an intractable conflict with her partner, and below are three tips she shared that really apply to any kind of conflict:“In most conflicts,” Ripley said, “there’s the thing we’re arguing about and the thing it’s really about. Every conflict has an understory, so to speak.” Ripley wrote about one couple who was getting divorced and went to war over who would get custody of…the Legos. Seriously.
(This is a tactic that NASA mission control uses with astronauts, as part of frequent communication “check-ins,” but it hit closer to Earth for me. I have a two-year-old, and it immediately reminded me of pediatrician Harvey Karp’s book,. In it, Karp describes his “fast-food rule.” At a fast-food order window, if you ask for a burger and fries, the first thing the order-taker will probably say is, “So that’s one burger and an order of fries.
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