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Who Are You in the Gwyneth Paltrow Vehicle Contagion?

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Have you heard about the coronavirus? Kristin Chenoweth is very worried about it, as a travel lockdown and rising death toll restricts travel across China’s Hubei Province. Two cases are confirmed in the United States, and the New York Times reports that it has also spread to Nepal, Vietnam, Singapore, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and Thailand. The State Department has also issued a Level 4 travel advisory, which explicitly forbids travel to and from Wuhan Province.

restricts travel across China’s Hubei Province. Two cases are confirmed in the United States, and thereports that it has also spread to Nepal, Vietnam, Singapore, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and Thailand. The State Department has also issued a Level 4In the midst of this, a second case of coronavirus was

in Chicago. A woman in her 60s recently traveled to Wuhan and returned to Chicago on January 13. Strangely, this is also the plot of the 2011 Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle, which freaked my mom out enough that she wouldn’t let me leave the house without dousing me in Purell. Told in a series of interlocking narratives, Contagion follows a deadly epidemic as it spreads from bats

to pigs, to Goop, to the rest of the world. Kate Winslet wears glasses and attempts to look studious, Matt Damon runs around in his best suburban dad cosplay, and Marion Cottilard frowns a lot. Laurence Fishburne is also there, warning everyone about bioterrorism, as is Jude Law, a Big Pharma troll who tries to make a quick buck from the epidemic.

 

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Probably that cow.

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