. After my third child was born, I lost a considerable amount of weight and I still wasn’t happy. It was clear then that my unhappiness with my body had to do with the sense that I was in the wrong body.
That was two and a half years ago. We talked and we cried and we worked on fixing our relationship. My husband stepped up with the housework and the kids, and that left me free to focus on what was going to make me happy. I knew I wasn’t ready to come out yet—in part, because we wanted one more child. There are trans men who keep their uteruses and ovaries, and who go off testosterone for a period of time and get pregnant, and that’s great.
When it comes to motherhood, it’s probably not surprising that I have mixed feelings about my identity as a mom. I don’t think I’ll ever get away entirely from being considered a mother, no matter how I look. It’s difficult for people to see you differently once they’ve established an idea of you in their head. Now that I’m a man, I’m not sure where I belong.
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