What ​Wearing The Same Shirt Every Day Taught Me About Myself

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A soft butch ode to the Express 'Portofino,' the shirt that simplified mhmhart42's whole damn life

In The Inventor, HBO's documentary about disgraced entrepreneur Elizabeth Holmes and her now-defunct biotechnology startup Theranos, there's a scene in which Holmes tells a journalist why she wears the same black outfit all the time:"In line with designing my life to be able to give every bit of energy I have to [the company]," she says,"I have a closet that has a very large number of the exact same set of clothes, and every single day I put the same thing on, and I...

The first time I saw it, I was at the mall I had frequented as a teenager in suburban New Jersey. I was with my partner, who had grown up in Brooklyn and seldom found herself in a shopping mall. Like me, she's a bit of a tomboy; we talk often about how hard it is to dress ourselves. Clothes and the procurement of them confound us. We inhabit that confusing middle between"butch" and"femme." We wear makeup, but just eyeliner. We shrug at the word"skincare.

That day at the mall, though, my partner and I came upon a large display in the window of Express featuring basketball star Stephen Curry wearing a dapper shirt and vest. We wondered why we couldn't just wear what he was wearing; it was sleek, simple, easy. Out of curiosity, we walked through the store's men's section. But we both knew we wouldn't find anything there. Guys' clothes never seemed to fit our forms.

 

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