Banishing your physician to the dungeon will have him think twice about making comments about your obesity and the future of the throne.Full-body weight loss is too much of an ask, so make sure they specify which limb they’d like you to focus on shrinking.List slidesMake them explain death.
“My body is but a vessel for the souls I absorb as I roam the earthly plane, and yours will soon be added to the screaming multitude within me.”“My body is but a vessel for the souls I absorb as I roam the earthly plane, and yours will soon be added to the screaming multitude within me.”“Can’t we pick someone else to kick off the helicopter?”Your platoon is being hit by enemy fire but your chopper can’t take off unless one of you stays behind and lightens the load.
If your partner is fat, but you love him, & you want to show him how much you love him, you can tell him that ... I am very grateful to have a fat partner, cuz I don't have to buy a sofa & bed, can save money, & to buy other furnitures.
There's the Subway Jared way to lose weight. Sandwiches I hope...
'I'm just wearing a bunch of coats' is my favorite
This is like a vaccination against humor. Do not click.
She looks like she's both 3 and 33 years old at the same time livelaughlove
'Then maybe you should take it easy on all them soul-'
Ahahahah, I read the quote first
JWorrellWrites Hands down, best thing I've read in weeks. Unfortunately, AuthorTosti, that also means your book, but your book is right up there!!! Seriously, get and read Brandon's book. It's really good.
Aren't there frequent hurricanes in America?
Gotta catch me first.
What about the action reaction thing? Does that mean if you’re close to a dieter you’re gonna get fat?
Nothing more than a rationalization for being fat, unhealthy and lazy to do anything about it. Some things are just that simple.
'no'
MaintenancePod I am so using this one next time.
'Which limb?' 😅
Im using this
Say that when you're eating a plate of ribs.
As one does…
Oats. Raw organic oats with milk or yoghurt every day!
My cousin just got surgery and holy crap. Semi related I lost more weight quicker trying to heal my peptic ulcers with diet, vitamins and drinks than I did when I was dieting and exercising to lose weight!
😂👏
Soul vore
this whole thing hits extremely hard and i love all of it
I usually just say I'm festively plump
What To Say When Someone Tells You To Lose Weight?
For sure you don't dismiss it in your I-dont-care way. The advice giver seems to care for you more than you do.
This is my favorite answer:
I’d love to introduce you to an cryptoprime investment platform where you can invest and earn double of your investment within 24-48hrs is the best platform business that really pay huge profit honestly invest with the exclusive offer and bonus..Interested only +12522289507
That was a Shrek joke hiding in plain sight.
Top notch work
MaintenancePod
Strangely disturbing
Come on in, it's roomy as hell.
MariaHaskins
Didn’t expect dark souls…
Sounds a bit scary to me !!
Stop absorbing fat people souls
This is the Dark Souls of tweets.
What to say:
🤣
'pay for my trainer/therapist' that will shut them up.
This is the best tweet I have read in weeks. It made me crack a smile amidst all the sadness, violence and pain in the world right now. Thank you.
I think fat people are just selfish and lazy
How much weight and what do I get if I do?
Y’all need to do basic research on the diff between browns and ravens
As a Diabetic Fibromyalgia Arthritis sufferer I'd love to find out how I can do that. I can't go keto because of my diabetes and possible insulin resistance, I can't always exercise like other men because of my fibro pain, and my arthritis makes it difficult to walk for long.
oh god pinochet moment
kylee_parkk
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