What To Say To A Friend Who's Constantly Body Shaming Themselves

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You may be tempted to talk negatively about your own body to make your friend feel better, but experts say that's a bad idea.

of a healthy weight, Engeln and her colleague found that just hearing peers make two brief “fat talk” remarks comparing themselves to a model in a magazine ad was enough to increase the subjects’ levels of dissatisfaction with their own bodies.

“If the things you say about your own body suggest that you find fat disgusting, how could a fat person ever trust you to treat them with respect?” Engeln said. “When you criticize fat on your own body, you’re criticizing other people’s bodies as well — whether you mean to or not.” “For example, if a friend is complaining that they’re fat, it’s not helpful to convince them they’re not, as you risk isolating your friend,” Efron said. “Rather, engage in kind words and distractions.”Push the conversation away from negative talk about their own body and toward something more productive.

“For example, if a friend is complaining that they have fat thighs, you can help them remember something their thighs make possible, such as taking walks whenever they want to,” she said.Depending on how close you are to this person, start a discussion — preferably not right after they’ve just engaged in fat talk — about why you want to avoid negative body commentary going forward.

 

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I don’t like to speak about my own body at my age... why in God’s name would I be interested in urs…

Who are these experts you speak of?

I do something different. I say I hear you. I can sometimes feel that way too. Then the whole society can do this and let’s focus Instead on something else that we can do - eat well, exercise, love our (whatever part they do love) and just - humans do this and we are all 🌟.

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