Photo: Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica Though the term “narcissist” is often used as shorthand for your standard preening, primping, vanity monster — reality stars, Instagram influencers, certain politicians — the actual diagnosis, as it stands in the world of clinical psychology, is considerably more layered, and not uncontroversial.
But the form in which narcissism can present itself also varies, says Malkin. While most people are familiar with what Malkin calls the “extroverted narcissist” — the braggadocious chest-thumpers — there are also introverted narcissists, whose sense of specialness may derive more from a sense of victimhood than superiority. “These are people who … might feel special because of their emotional pain,” says Malkin.
They did the personality test, and by process of elimination, it was concluded that it was narcissistic personality disorder. So from that moment on, I started treatment, because I didn’t want to have that. Of course, at that time, I didn’t know that there is no such thing as “I don’t want to have that,” because when you have it, you have it. I just had to learn to live with it. I was in therapy ever since. It lasted six and a half years, and I stopped last year, in 2017.None, no.
I’ll give you an example: Two guys standing at a crossroads, and two old ladies wanting to cross the street. Both guys help a lady out, flirting a little. Old ladies like it when young men help them cross the street and have a laugh. But ask which of the two men is the narcissist, and people cannot answer that, because they have too little information. One of them is a narcissist, and the other is like a Boy Scout.
I’ve been helped really well, I have to say. Mental health care in Holland is pretty good. A lot of people complain about it, but I cannot share those complaints. I was helped really well. I owe them a lot. I don’t think I would have been talking to you if I did not get the help that I got. I want to give that back, at some point.You name it, I’ve had it. CBT, DBT, schema therapy, which is where you focus on the thinking schematics you have.
Having NPD, looking back — I think you say 20/20 hindsight in America — has definitely made maintaining relationships, not just with girlfriends but also with friends and others, difficult, yes. That’s absolutely true.I recall some situations when I have said things without thinking — things I should not have said to people that are close to me, or even to strangers, that may not have been so smart.At some point I was part of a Taekwondo club where I was also teaching.
“healthy narcissism”? Trying to justify narcissism by labeling a subset of it as a good thing is beyond disgusting.
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