What Is 'Dishonest Harmony'? A Mom Explains This Toxic Parenting Style

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TikToker breaks down the term 'dishonest harmony' and why it's resonating with Gen X and Millennials raised by Boomer parents.

was an important part of existing in society. But a lifetime of sweeping the ugly stuff under the rug can take its toll — and many of their Gen X and Millennial kids suffered for it.

Baker begins, “Fellow Gen X and millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”Referencing online interactions, she says, “When I've been trying to talk about the toxic ways that we were parented as kids, I get a lot of boomers telling me to be quiet, telling me, ‘Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.’”

“The desire of boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!”

In defense of Baby Boomers, there was probably an instinct to protect their kids from the scary chaos of emotions the only way they learned to protect themselves. Generally raised to be seen and not heard, boomers internalized the idea that soldiering on was the best way to contribute to a functioning family unit. Maybe they deserve a little validation too.

 

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