What if Brands Were True to Their Names?

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In a simpler world, you’d go to Jack in the Box for toys, Apple for fresh produce, and Equinox for—well, Equinox just wouldn’t exist.

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Some commercial names tell you exactly what you’re getting: Bank of America, Famous Footwear, Pornhub. Others hint at it: Snapchat, OpenTable, Lids. Then there are those that spark questions.

What the hell is a Cigna? And why, in twenty-first-century America, is any store called Banana Republic—let alone one selling polo shirts and turtleneck sweater dresses? Let us imagine a better, simpler world, where companies delivered on their names. A world where you’d go to Jack in the Box for toys, Apple for fresh produce, and Equinox for—well, Equinox just wouldn’t exist.

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I see The New Yorker was run by 9-yr-olds today.

Grindr is an app for people to grind their weiners on butts.

ha ha so true bestie

Wouldn't that be something!

What would you buy in here? 🤔

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