“We are Psychologists and Our Child Has ADHD. We Are Searching for Answers, Too.”

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'I try every day to be calmer, less angry, less judgmental, and less irritable. I’m going to be easier on myself and forgive myself when I don’t act the 'right' way. It’s always a work in process. And it’s usually difficult.'

Heck, we’ve never taken our son to a movie theater or a live show. We haven’t been on a family vacation in years . I haven’t even traveled with him on a bus.Our son started school just a few months ago, and, to our delight, is apparently years ahead in reading and mathematics. But every day, there are reports about his behavioral issues. Sometimes, it’s like his medication isn’t working at all. He has to be dragged away from other children at times.

This injury came with a lot of grief, as home life was already hard to manage. I realized I needed to think harder about how I was handling my emotions. We’ve had to accept that his social skills are delayed, that he often doesn’t notice the emotions of others, and that he doesn’t particularly care when he does. We know we are always going to have to explain his condition to teachers and wonder if they think we are exaggerating .

Maybe we can help him build his self-esteem by being open about his diagnosis and emphasizing his strengths. Perhaps he can avoid disabling mental health problems, relationship problems, financial problems, and the drug and alcohol problems that so many of my adult clients endure. Surely? I think I’ve mostly accepted the differences that neurodiversity has brought to our family. Acceptance does not mean I have to be happy about it, it just means I don’t waste time in a futile search for a cure.

 

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