We Always Chip In $100 Each for a Christmas Gift for Our Boss. Do I Have To?

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“I am starting to feel a bit resentful.”

My co-workers in my department like to give one another gifts for various events and holidays, like birthdays. It is a nice thought, and typically the contributions are small , but for Christmas, we all chip in to buy a gift for our boss. It’s a minimum contribution of $40 but often comes out to be $100+ per person, and I am starting to feel a bit resentful.

The etiquette rule for gifts at work is that it’s OK for gifts to flow downward , but they shouldn’t flow upward . That’s because of the power dynamics inherent in the relationship; otherwise there’s too much chance that someone will feel pressured to buy a gift for the person who controls their paychecks, and it’s unseemly for a manager to benefit from the position in that way.

That said, if you have a truly unmovable conflict, that’s different. Reasonable workplaces won’t expect you to change airline flights or reschedule surgery just to attend an office party. But when the reason is “I don’t want to” … usually you’re better off if you suck it up and put in an appearance. I find that incredibly annoying, but so it goes.because you’re the head of this office.

I feel like this is a cost of business being passed on to employees. I think a better policy would be still requiring use of an entire vacation day if you take the whole day off, but being paid for a full day if you come in. Is this worth pushing back on?Yeah, that’s a crap policy. If the office is closed, it’s closed. What are you taking vacationBut it’s also not a terribly unusual practice. A lot of offices handle early closures for holidays this way.

 

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