Are you always the one to end a relationship? Here's how to tell if you're being motivated by negative past experiences.
How childhood experiences influence how we deal with emotional connection
, or an acquaintanceship. People grow apart or reveal themselves to be different than we thought they were, or we simply discover that each of us wants different things. But if you always have your running shoes at the ready and it’s well-nigh impossible for you to maintain any relationship, that’s a very different matter.
What Makes Us Habitual Runaways or Ghosters?There are many reasons you might be behaving in this way, some of them contradictory on the surface. Leaving first and doing the bait-cuttingkeeps you fully in control, and it may be that you act first because the idea of being left is just too painful for you to bear. The preemptive strike may be preferable to dealing with being rejected, although you may not admit that to yourself. Then again, being in control may simply be paramount to you because you don’t like feeling dependent on anyone.
But you may also leave because confrontations of any kind scare the daylights out of you because that’s what you learned in your family of origin. Adult children of parents who are high in control,narcissistictraits, or who are combative by nature—and who use verbal abuse to keep their offspring in line—often have real problems distinguishing a dialogue or disagreement from a fight. As relationship expert John Gottman points out, it’s not whether you disagree—all couples do—but how you act and treat your partner in the course of that disagreement. headtopics.com
How to Stop the PatternKeep in mind that not every unloved daughter actually wants to be in a committed or long-term relationship and if that person is you and you are happy with your life, you be you. But if you’re unhappy with how connection is working in your life, it would serve you to trace your behavior back to its childhood roots.
Generally speaking, this behavior reflects the avoidant style of insecureattachment; you will have to plumb your own feelings and thoughts to discover whether it’s the dismissive or fearful type, which have distinct characteristics.People with a dismissive-avoidant style of attachment have a high opinion of themselves and a low opinion of others. They pride themselves on being more independent than others and are more comfortable with superficial relationships than ones that involve real
intimacy. This isn’t to say that they don’t like being in relationships; they do, but only on their terms and if they can call the shots. They don’t worry about their relationships too much, and they are quick to rebound and find another partner when a relationship ends. (This is the attachment style associated with those high in narcissistic traits.)Read more: Psychology Today »
July 2021: The Next Full Moon is the Buck Moon
The next full Moon goes by many names including the Buck Moon.
Britney Spears Speaks Out Against Father Jamie and Says He 'Loved the Control' Over Her - E! OnlineIn a rare testimony, Britney Spears detailed her relationship with her father, alleging that 'he loved the control to hurt his daughter 100,000 percent.' Where is her mother in all this? hope things be right LOCK UP BRITTANY'S FATHER
Dear Care and Feeding: My Daughter Discovered Our Open Relationship in the Worst WayParenting advice on open relationships, infertility, and sibling sadness.
I Want What They Have: Bo Burnham and Lorene ScafariaBo Burnham's long-running relationship with his girlfriend, Hustlers director Lorene Scafaria, is the rare celeb coupling that manages to fly relatively under the radar AilishHallinan essential reading Do you want what they have? WELL, THEY HAVE BRAINS, so try to grow one! Also, they are very talented people -talent is something you very clearly lack (let alone any sense of respect for other people's privacy). What a shitty and unnecessary piece of writing. Shame on you!
Can We Be in Love and Indifferent at the Same Time?'It is often assumed that sensitivity is a pillar of romantic relationships, and for good reason. However, too much romantic sensitivity can overburden a relationship.'
What Type of Partner Do Narcissists and Psychopaths Seek?People with Dark Triad personality traits tend to attract others who are similar. ArashEmamzadeh explains why. ArashEmamzadeh I’m not sure I agree here but I appreciate this view. This may be the “norm” but, in my experience, I see the psychopath/narcissist mating with someone they can abuse. I’m not a doctor though. Just my experience. ArashEmamzadeh h3h3productions ArashEmamzadeh I read this article as the other way around. It’s interesting, but not helpful for many (majority women) who are abused by NPD partners, and find it hard to explain, or even be believed, about their lived experience of crazy making, coercive abuse.
Selena Gomez Said She Felt 'So Less Than' in Past RelationshipsSelena Gomez Said She Felt 'So Less Than' in Her Previous Relationships