Understanding Your Avoidance

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Avoidance can offer a temporary reprieve from uncomfortable feelings—but it's not a healthy long-term solution. Here's what to try instead.

Avoidance provides temporary relief from anxiety, shame, and other uncomfortable feelings.

This blog is about living courageously. It’s about getting to know your patterns of avoidance and doing something different. But first, you have to learn how your avoidance works., we introduced you to a simple phrase to understand human behavior: You do, you get.When you feel anxious, you have a drink and feel less anxious.

However, the stuff inside of us isn’t always so amenable to direct control. If I asked you not to think of a white bear for 60 seconds, what do you think would happen? You don’t have to think very hard to get the answer: you would think more about white bears. Our experience tells us this.

we can pay to other things in the outside world. The more we try to avoid, the stronger the need to avoid gets. And the smaller and smaller our lives become.Teeny Tiny Practice: Map the Cost of Control What are some mental tricks you have tried to deal with this struggle? These could be things like: problem-solving, trying to figure out “why?” criticizing yourself, worrying, thinking “if only…”, thinking “what if?” imagining big changes in your life, maybe even imagining you weren’t alive.

 

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definitely not a healthy long term solution.

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