Tumor-Covered Chester Cheetah Apologizes For Role In Marketing Dangerously Cheesy Cheetos To Children

Illness, Vol 55 Issue 07

Tumor-Covered Chester Cheetah Apologizes For Role In Marketing Dangerously Cheesy Cheetos To Children

Illness, Vol 55 Issue 07

17.2.2020

Tumor-Covered Chester Cheetah Apologizes For Role In Marketing Dangerously Cheesy Cheetos To Children

WASHINGTON—Speaking out against his former employer while testifying before Congress, terminally ill snack-food mascot Chester Cheetah apologized through tumor-riddled lips Friday for his role in marketing dangerously cheesy Cheetos to children. “I’m ashamed to have been a part of this campaign,” said Cheetah, who described his struggles from daily exposure to the dangerously cheesy snack, which destroyed his health, caused his fur to slough off in clouds of bright orange dust, and potentially played a role in his wife’s miscarriage. “For far too long, I’ve been complicit in covering up just how much damage these snacks have caused—especially for young children. I’m sure they all watched me skateboarding in my stylish sunglasses and envied the Flamin’ Hot lifestyle I lived on my TV show and in Sega Genesis games, but in reality, I was suffering, barely clinging onto life. I can’t take back the harm my actions have caused to the world’s children, but I promise them this: The harder Frito-Lay tries to sweep my condition under the rug, the harder I will fight. I refuse to be silenced.” Cheetah’s statement is the most severe mascot-related scandal to hit Frito-Lay since 1972, when the Frito Bandito was gunned down by treasury agents outside an El Paso currency exchange.

Advertisement Read more: The Onion

Lol Corona virus flavored Cheetos are nothing to sneeze at Dangerously cheesy! He always seemed like a bullshit artist. So know he looks like a cheeto He did say they're dangerously cheesy... . Good thing I dont like Cheetos Better apology than the Asstros Oh my god Look at my profile pic.

Masked Singer presenter Davina McCall on the home births of her three childrenThe Masked Singer judge Davina McCall tells of her three home births with her children Holly, Tilly and Chester, who she shares with TV presenter Matthew Robertson

dont toot cheetos dust The Cheeteh Confessed To Using Cheap, Genetically Altered Corn, Bought From Trump Farms Conglomerate, To Make The Crunchy Snack. Did you know kids lick their fingers after eating Cheetos and then get their germy Cheeto fingers all over things. Here. Have some Cheetos. Too cheesy for them to handle

How the Shockingly Sophisticated Hot Cheetos Croissants at Koffeteria Are MadeHow the shockingly sophisticated Hot Cheetos croissants at Koffeteria are made (Via EaterHouston)

Disney's 'Queen of Katwe' star Nikita Pearl Waligwa has died at age 15Nikita Pearl Waligwa, a child star in Disney's 'Queen of Katwe,' was first diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2016. 😭😭😭 RIP Unfortunate. 🙁 So awful. So young and such a huge battle she fought. Rest in peace. Prayers to her family. 🙏🏼

Disney's 'Queen of Katwe' actor Nikita Pearl Waligwa dies at 15Nikita Pearl Waligwa, an actor who appeared in Disney's 'Queen of Katwe,' has died at age 15, according to BBC and the Ugandan newspaper Daily Monitor. My she rip. I loved that movie and she was so good in it. Sad too sad. Much too young

London Fashion Week’s Most Talked-About Hair Accessory Is In Your Bodega Aisle“I love the idea of a bunch of kids stuck in a shopping mall,” Fashion East designer Gareth Wrighton tells Vogue backstage of his Fall 2020 show. 🔥🥵☄️🤯 Thanks, Vogue, but I still prefer this. 📸 interfIix via danjlevy 👑 Mocking Jesus in Fashion fabulous

“Queen of Katwe” Actor Nikita Pearl Waligwa Has Died at 15Our thoughts are with her family and friends at this time. 💔 This is so sad. She was a great talent and inspiration.



US freezes shipments of protective gear overseas

Ellis Marsalis Jr., pianist, educator and patriarch of legendary musical family, dies of complications from coronavirus

Coronavirus live updates: cases top 930,000 globally - CNN

More than 40 spring breakers who ignored public health advice test positive for coronavirus

Nation's top coronavirus expert Dr. Anthony Fauci forced to beef up security as death threats increase

China's Shenzhen bans the eating of cats and dogs after coronavirus

First U.S. ER physician dies from COVID-19

Write Comment

Thank you for your comment.
Please try again later.

Latest News

News

16 February 2020, Sunday News

Previous news

Kate Middleton Hypnobirthed Her Babies

Next news

Margot Robbie Wants to Go on a Double Date with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in LA
Virus Outbreak 6.6 million Americans filed for unemployment benefits last week, a record high as coronavirus takes its toll US weekly jobless claims double to 6.6 million Lou Dobbs: Health Experts Not Recognizing Trump's Coronavirus 'Leadership' Trump’s Net Worth Drops $1 Billion As Coronavirus Infects The President’s Business Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Sends Team Jet to Bring 1.2 Million Masks from China Doctors Say Hospitals Are Stopping Them From Wearing Masks Americans Have Lost 10 Million Jobs Because Of Coronavirus Record 6.6 Million Americans Sought Unemployment Benefits Last Week Coronavirus Expert Dr. Anthony Fauci’s Personal Security Has Been Stepped Up After Threats To His Safety California hospitals desperate for safety supplies as coronavirus wave hits Spain: Coronavirus Death Toll Exceeds 10,000 As Unemployment Hits New Record
US freezes shipments of protective gear overseas Ellis Marsalis Jr., pianist, educator and patriarch of legendary musical family, dies of complications from coronavirus Coronavirus live updates: cases top 930,000 globally - CNN More than 40 spring breakers who ignored public health advice test positive for coronavirus Nation's top coronavirus expert Dr. Anthony Fauci forced to beef up security as death threats increase China's Shenzhen bans the eating of cats and dogs after coronavirus First U.S. ER physician dies from COVID-19 An ER doctor dies in his husband's arms a week after first coronavirus symptoms Spain deaths pass 10,000 after highest single-day increase so far Dog A Pervert In Ways Owner Will Never Know Women are using code words at pharmacies to escape domestic violence US coronavirus death toll crosses 5,000